Interview with Mr E.

Seeing as I am going to be following Mr E as he finds his feet (and loses his mind) in the big city, he is my first interviewee. Here is how our conversation went.

NONSENSIBLE: If you could time travel would you go forwards or backwards?

MR E: Backwards.

Back within your own life time or beyond it?

            Beyond it. Back to humble lives and witchcraft. And when people dined on whole hogs.

If you won the lottery what would you spend it on?

            I’d monopolise London. As in I would buy everything on the monopoly board.

If you were in a music video what would the genre be?

            Cheryl Cole video.

You’re having friends round for dinner; what do you cook?

            Scrambled eggs.

When you get home from work do you go for a cup of tea or beer?

            Beer. Hot drinks burn my mouth.

First date ­– meal, just a drink or an activity.

            Drink.

            It’s less complicated and I can escape easier if she is a psycho.

If you were a ‘Harry Potter’ character who would you be?

            Mad-eye Moody. No, Kingsley Shacklebolt… He’s cool.

            No. Mad-eye Moody.

What was the last film you watched?

            ‘Lord of War’.

Good?

            Yeah, really good. Have you seen it?

Not yet.

What makes you angry?

            Empty Nutella pots. And empty jam jars, and no milk.

What super power would you have?

            Eagle wings. Not Butterfly wings – that would be shit.